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剧情简介
我说：这(zhè )车是(shì )我(🔤)(wǒ )朋(😑)友的，现(➕)在是(shì )我(wǒ )的，我扔的(🐣)时候(💲)心情有(yǒu )些问题，现在都让(rà(🔕)ng )你骑(🚋)两(liǎng )天了，可(🥫)以还我(wǒ(🦈) )了(le )。
其实(🙊)离开(🐌)上海(hǎi )对我(🚜)(wǒ )并(bìng )没(🈴)有什么特殊(🗞)的意(yì )义，只(〰)是有一天(💘)我在淮(huái )海(🌉)(hǎi )路上行走(🕶)，突然(rán )发(🎻)现，原来这个(⌛)淮海路(lù )不(📥)(bú )是属于(📳)我的而是属(🐦)于(yú )大(dà )家的。于是离(㊗)开上(shàng )海的(📬)愿望越发强烈。这(zhè )很(🖲)(hěn )奇(🚓)怪。可能(🎇)属于(yú )一种(zhǒng )心(xīn )理(🎤)变态(🈶)。
几个月(yuè )以(yǐ )后电视剧播出(🚙)。起先(🥉)是(shì )排在午(🍑)夜时刻播(🖱)出(chū )，后(🐚)来(lá(🚤)i )居然挤进黄(⚽)金时(shí )段(🚫)(duàn )，然后记者(♟)纷纷(fēn )来找(💇)(zhǎo )一(yī )凡(😭)，老枪和我马(⏯)上(shàng )接到了(🔉)第二个剧(🎷)本，一(yī )个(gè(🐔) )影视公司飞(🤟)速和(hé )一(➖)凡签(qiān )约，一(✔)凡马上接(jiē )到(dào )第二(🙇)个戏，人家怕(🙄)一(yī )凡(fán )变心先付了(🍑)十万(🔦)块(kuài )定(📜)金。我和老枪也不愿(yuà(📂)n )意(yì(📑) )和一凡上街，因(yīn )为让人(rén )家(👴)看见(🍼)了以为是(shì )一(yī )凡的(😄)两个保(🎥)镖。我(🕊)们的(de )剧本有(🚂)一个出版(🤹)社(shè )以最快(💲)(kuài )的速度出(⏩)版了，我(wǒ(🚤) )和老枪拿百(❗)分之(zhī )八的(📒)(de )版(bǎn )税，然(🐈)后书居然在(🖌)(zài )一个月里(👼)卖了三十(🦐)多万(wàn )，我和(🥈)老枪又分到(dào )了每个(⌚)(gè )人十五万(👧)多，而(ér )在(zài )一凡签名(🥉)售书(⛪)的时候(🍑)(hòu )队(duì )伍一直绵延了(👪)几百(🛵)(bǎi )米。
第一是善于打边路(lù )。而(💝)且是(🏎)太善于了(le )，往往(wǎng )中间(🏃)一个对(⭕)方的(💱)(de )人(rén )没有，我(🎬)们也要往(🎞)边上(shàng )挤，恨(🏽)不能十一个(🥘)(gè )人全在(🤛)(zài )边线上站(🐄)成一队(duì )。而(🤱)且中国队(🔖)的边(biān )路打(🎞)(dǎ )得(dé )太揪(🌠)心了，球常(♏)常(cháng )就是压(🧢)在边线上滚，裁(cái )判(pà(🏴)n )和边裁看得(💅)眼珠(zhū )子都要(yào )弹出(🔄)来了(🍽)，球就(jiù(🌨) )是(shì )不出界，终于在经(💪)过(guò(❓) )了(le )漫长的拼脚和拉扯(chě )以后(🖨)，把那(🤐)个在边路纠(jiū )缠(chán )我(📚)们的家(🐱)伙过(😟)掉(diào )，前面(mià(😇)n )一片宽广(🤛)，然后(hòu )那(nà(👦) )哥儿们闷头(🥜)一带，出界(💨)(jiè )。
我说：不(⚫)，比原(yuán )来那(🏟)个(gè )快多(🍷)了，你看这(zhè(㊗) )钢(gāng )圈，这轮(🐌)胎，比(bǐ )原(🍼)来(lái )的(de )大多(🆕)了，你进去试(shì )试。
我浪(⬇)费十年时间(🧔)在(zài )听(tīng )所谓的蜡烛(🧝)教导(❄)(dǎo )我们(⛸)不(bú )能早恋等等问题(😘)(tí )，然(😿)而事实是包括我在(zài )内(nèi )所(📕)有的(🔱)人都在到处(chù )寻(xún )找(💊)自己心(🤞)底的(😟)那个姑(gū )娘(🌚)(niáng )，而我们(🎻)所疑惑(huò )的(🍺)是，当我喜欢(✳)另一个(gè(🅰) )人(rén )的时候(🖌)，居然能有(🥚)一(🉐)根(gēn )既不(🍫)是我爹妈也(🈯)不(bú )是我女(🐏)(nǚ )朋友爹(🎇)妈的莫名(mí(🤐)ng )其(qí )妙的蜡烛出来说(🛃)(shuō )：不(bú )行(🏺)(háng )。
后来我将我出的(de )许(💡)多文(🙀)字作点(🥑)修改以后(hòu )出(chū )版，销(💩)量出(🎻)奇的(de )好，此(cǐ )时一凡已经是国(😊)(guó )内(⏳)(nèi )知名的星，要见他还(✉)(hái )得(dé(🛤) )打电(🔆)话给他经济(📘)人(rén )，通常(😕)的答案是一(Ⓜ)凡正(zhèng )在(zà(🔶)i )忙，过会儿(🔡)他会(huì )转告(🤪)。后来我打(🚛)过(💰)多次(cì )，结(🍶)果全是这样(➗)，终于明(míng )白(🐃)原来一凡(👓)的经济(jì )人(😴)的作(zuò )用就是在一凡(😫)的(de )电(diàn )话里(🍖)喊：您所拨(bō )打的(de )用(🌯)(yòng )户(🛍)正忙，请(🎾)稍后再(zài )拨。
老枪此时(🚥)说出(🌬)了我(wǒ )与(yǔ )他交往以来最有(🍛)(yǒu )文(🦋)采的(de )一句话：我们是(🌪)(shì )连(liá(🏰)n )经验(🤮)都没有，可你(🍽)怕(pà )连(liá(👶)n )精液都没有(👐)了，还(hái )算(suà(💉)n )是男人，那(🉐)我们好歹(dǎ(💯)i )也(yě )算是(🛒)写(🐇)剧本的吧(🕉)(ba )。
不幸(xìng )的是(💹)，就连那帮(bā(😏)ng )不(bú )学无(💬)术并且一直(🛑)以为祥(xiáng )林嫂是鲁迅(🌡)他娘的(de )中文(👛)系(xì )的家伙居然也知(🔔)(zhī )道(🤲)(dào )此事(🎓)。
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